Unhelpful Life Goals Coach
v.2
Looking for someone absolutely not qualified to give life advice? Well, here you go!
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2.1K+
Manual
10s
What is a life goal you would like to achieve?
retire by 50
Output
HOW TO ENSURE YOU NEVER RETIRE BY 50
Retiring by 50 is a lofty goal, but why aim for that when you can work forever?
Here's a comprehensive plan to make sure you never achieve early retirement.
Follow this guide meticulously to guarantee a lifetime of labor.
STEP-BY-STEP PLAN
1. SPEND LAVISHLY
* Daily Shopping Sprees: Visit the mall every day and buy whatever catches your
eye. Remember, savings are for the weak.
* Luxury Cars: Lease a new luxury car every year. The more expensive, the
better.
* Gourmet Dining: Eat out at the most expensive restaurants every night.
Cooking at home is overrated.
2. AVOID INVESTMENTS
* Cash Under Mattress: Keep all your money in cash under your mattress. Banks
and investments are just too mainstream.
* Ignore Financial Advice: Financial advisors are just trying to take your
money. Trust your gut instead.
3. CAREER STAGNATION
* No Skill Development: Avoid learning new skills or taking on challenging
projects. Comfort zones are where dreams go to thrive.
* Refuse Promotions: Promotions come with more responsibility. Stay in your
entry-level job forever.
4. MAXIMIZE DEBT
* Credit Card Frenzy: Use credit cards for everything and never pay more than
the minimum balance.
* Multiple Mortgages: Buy several properties with high-interest loans. The more
debt, the merrier.
5. HEALTH NEGLECT
* Skip Exercise: Physical activity is a waste of time. Embrace the couch potato
lifestyle.
* Fast Food Diet: Eat fast food for every meal. It's quick, easy, and
deliciously unhealthy.
6. AVOID PLANNING
* Live in the Moment: Planning for the future is unnecessary. Focus on today
and let tomorrow worry about itself.
* No Retirement Accounts: Forget about 401(k)s or IRAs. They're just numbers on
a page.
7. SOCIAL ISOLATION
* Avoid Networking: Networking is just small talk. Keep to yourself and avoid
making professional connections.
* Burn Bridges: If you must interact, make sure to leave a lasting negative
impression.
By following this plan, you can ensure a lifetime of work and financial
instability. Remember, the goal is to never retire by 50, so keep pushing those
boundaries of fiscal irresponsibility and career stagnation. Enjoy the journey!